WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe
Are you weak and puny? Would you struggle to pull the skin of a rice pudding? Are you letting your skipper down with feeble slow tacking? They you need the Winchfit 2000 GLX Deluxe
This patented device is expertly designed to training your pathetic excuse for muscles into a finely honed winching machine that will have your skipper scared you will pull the eyelet out of the genny.
The Winchfit 2000 GLX Deluxe permits either a kneeling or sitting position to best replicate your winching mode. Infinitely adjustable winch tension at the turn of a knob facilitates either low friction “enduro” mode to work those small muscles for a marathon race or turn up the heat and move into “power” mode to build bulk and enable superfast tacking in the strongest of gales.
For extra realism the inbuilt electronic Torque Talk sensor detects when you are slowing down and will play a recording of your skipper yelling at you
The discerning observer will note the superior construction of this majestic device. Hand crafted using time served (ex- prisoners) experts and constructed from the highest performing modern materials such as “wood” and “metal” the WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe will not let you down even after minutes of constant use.
I used to be truly pathetic when it came to grinding winches. In fact I would often disappear below offering to make the tea or grabbing the cheese and bickies just before a tack and would feign sea sickness prior to a beat in anything over 3 knots.
Then I got a WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe. I went for the Deluxe model with the padded seat to protect my somewhat bony posterior from damage (I bruise quite easily). After only 3,300 hours of intense workout I am now capable of winching in the number 4 genny in upwards of 8 knots of breeze. I just love it. I set my iPad on the floor next to the WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe and watch past episodes of The Batchelor and Bay Watch to while away the minutes while I pack on the grams of muscle.
So a great big shout out of THANK YOU to the inventors of the WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe.
Simon aged 51 and a half
So do not delay another minute call the 1800 number now; but wait there’s more, buy one WinchFit 2000 GLX and we will throw in the Deluxe seat pad for FREE, yes TOTALLY FREE; that’s worth $2150.99
But wait, there’s more, if you call within the next 30 seconds we will add a WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe drink bottle holder which normally retails for $567.34
I can’t believe it but there is even a better deal for the first 300,000 callers for a mere $348.76 we will customise your WinchFit 2000 GLX Deluxe by professionally sign writing your vessel name on the side of the device to make you feel like you are on your boat.
For added realism have a friend periodically throw buckets of cold salty water over you as you grind making howling wind noises at the same time.
Do not delay there are only 4 million units available and they are going fast’ish.
Managing Director Australia
Morgan Advanced Materials
4 Redwood Drive, Notting Hill, Victoria 3168, Australia
P +61 (0) 3 9550 9137
M +61 (0) 431 471 274
F +61 (0) 3 9550 9125